Friday, July 31, 2009


Hi Bloggers! I have been MIA for over a month now and I have stayed away from Blogging because my world turned upside down.
The weekend I was due back to return to Illinois is the weekend that Ken Doll ended our relationship of two years. As I write this, I still have the heaviest of hearts. My furnishings and the majority of my personal belongings are in storage in Illinois and I am residing in Birmingham, Michigan for now.
All I can say is..I never saw this breakup happening and was taken completely by surprise. EVERYONE who has heard the story was as shocked and surprised as I was. I hadn't worked for several months after my car accident and I believe that along with our move to a more expensive residential area may have scared him, especially in this uncertain economy. He never communicated his hesitancy & this could be one of the reasons that he made such a rash decision. Along with his father whispering in his ear to break up with me (his father always showed animosity towards me because I had had a "charmed life" and his father was raised very poor and resented people with "money").
The good news..??? I'm with my family & friends again and I don't feel as alone as I did living in the IL. I have lost 15 lbs and I am very motivated to get back into top shape (The doctor said no aerobics still for one year). I am looking for a job and already have some "nibbles". I still speak with Kirk,.a.k.a. Ken Doll and our conversations are still filled with kindness and thoughtfulness but I haven't heard "Honey, I miss you and I made a mistake". I don't know if I ever will.
My friends say things (oh I love my friends) like "he was a good catch but can you imagine what's next if Kirk was that good?" I laugh at their optimism and appreciate it bunches.
When I moved to Illinois, I did because I thought/knew Kirk was the man of my dreams and I took a big risk because I was so excited about our future together.
I wonder what this 2 year adventure was all about. Certainly I could have stayed in Michigan and did the "long distance" thing with him or even not moved and let him go and dated other men. I don't understand why/what this relationship means in the "big scheme" of my life and only time will give me the answer and healing that I need.
Thank you bloggers for reading of my heartbreak (this is the first guy to break up with me/break my heart in my life..Yes, ladies @ 38 (Yes, now you know) this was the first time for me and I KNOW some of you out there know this feeling).
Hopefully, I will get back to blogging daily when I feel like being witty and talkative but I know that you will understand that I have been and will be "shut down" for a bit.
Huggies, I'll have another one, please!


  1. will be keeping you in my prayers hun.



  2. I am so sorry for your heavy heart. Be strong through this tough time. You have a great family it sounds like and lots of friends to smother you in love. Sending good thoughts your way and good luck with job stuff and getting in tip top shape. Keep breathing sister!

  3. If he's a great guy, I'd say be patient and wait. I've known people who have broken up like this and the breaker-up-er (word?) came running back after a bit of time. So you never know.